(Source: wereallunicorns)

(Source: nakedness)

(Source: i-msoexcited)

theclearlydope:

Me on the phone: Yeah I’m going to be late to work today.

Supervisor: Why?

Me: There’s a cat gang bang happening on top of my car.

Supervisor: (silence)

Supervisor: Well can’t you break it up?

Me: Who am I to break up a cat gang bang? They’ve probably been organizing it for days on Craigslist.

Supervisor: Good point. See you when you get here.

(Source: lewis1993)

awkwardgeorge:

he is prepared for us 

myopinionsmhmm:

I have the best girlfriend ever….be jealous

Yeah, pretty much.

Get it? Phone sex?

(Source: andrewbreitel)

(Source: dankruptcy)